Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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