Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
