now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
