You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
