Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
