maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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