its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
