Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
