But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
