hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
