I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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