I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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