so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
