There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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