can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
