Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
