You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
