Whod you bang
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
