Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
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WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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