We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
