He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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