Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
