vagina is talking i cant
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
