So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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