I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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