32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize