I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
