i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
