Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
