I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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