i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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