All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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