no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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