On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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