I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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