I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When are your genitals available?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
