But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
