I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
