I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
