I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
