I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
