Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
4 words: hood of his car
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
