would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
