I want to walk on stilts...naked
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
