wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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