when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize