Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
