In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
