I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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