maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
