Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
