He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
