my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
