hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
