there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
