Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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