I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize