What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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