dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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