we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
