Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My balls are so social today.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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