Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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