glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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