Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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