I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Randomize
