he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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