plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
